Lost Friend
by PeaceLoveAndAcoustics
Summary: Arthur is devastated after the incident of 9/11 and the death of his lover, Alfred F. Jones. How will Arthur cope with his death? Please read and review!


DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN AXIS POWERS HETALIA OR THE SONG 'LOST FRIEND' BY BRITANNI LOUISE TAYLOR.

Another sleepless night, another worry on his mind. He jolted straight up in bed, looking around the room, frantically. The nation's breaths were shaky and shallow, sweat glistening on his forehead. How many nights had it been? Ten, twenty? It didn't matter, because time seemed to stop, he was there, but he wasn't connected to the present, he could only linger in the memories of his past. His green orbs were puffy, threatening to spill with tears at any given moment. That was nothing out of the ordinary for the British nation-crying seemed more like a hobby, or a daily activity. There wasn't one single day that went by that Arthur didn't let his tears flow down his pale face, trying to tap into what little raw emotion that he possessed within his very soul. A soul, Arthur knew, that was terribly shaken to it's core-rotten, for the lack of a better word. One could say that he had escaped reality entirely, and that seemed like a pretty good thought to the Brit. Reality was filled with sorrow and nightmares, broken dreams and shattered hearts, twisted lies and the cold, cold, damning truth that he dared to defy as actual fact.

Arthur Kirkland sighed, and fell back into his spot on the bed that he had been spending most of his time in since the 'incident'. Rolling over, he saw what he already knew-he was alone. Life a mess, emotions drained, physically spent, but he kept trudging through every day life like it was nothing. People saw him as a survivor, but Arthur would have to disagree. The British nation felt like he was wedged inbetween two prisons: His raw emotions and his physical pain. In his little cell, he watched as someone would never ever give him the key so he could be freed-no, he would have to suffer for many days to come.

It felt like nothing really mattered anymore, now that he was alone. Arthur Kirkland went through his daily routines as a leader: leading the country, going to meetings, and taking care of his little brother. But none of that really felt like actual living. A frown was the permanent look on his face, his eyes never going to stop spilling tears. It felt he was in ensnared, not being able to escape the past, but not being able to enjoy the present, or-Heaven forbid-look forward the the dimly lit place called the future. He didn't want a future, not without him here. His green orbs displayed only sorrow and sheer agony, but no one could quite understand the pain that he was facing. The loss of a loved one, no-a lover-was like getting stabbed in the heart by a dagger over and over again, having your emotions drained like a dripping faucet, like a car running on empty.

Oh, and the nightmares. They were so vivid, so real, detailed. The last nightmare that he could remember clearly was the one on the night that the incident had happened. In the horror filled dream, Arthur was sitting in the office building that Alfred had worked in. It seemed innocent enough, people working hard so they could go home, boss's yelling at employee's to do their job right. Arhtur walked along the pods of the office, carrying something in his pocket. The blonde made his way to Alfred's desk, seeing the American working on a computer in front of him.

"Oh, hey Iggy! Whadd'ya got there?"

"I'm...I'm sorry..."

"Dude, for wh-"

Boom!

The building exploded around him, ash and debree floating freely in the air. Arthur walked out of the office building calmly. He had just taken the life of his lover, and everyone that he cared for.

Arthur shook his head, trying to forget the nasty illusion that made its way into his mind. Sighing, he stood and walked down into his living room. It didn't matter the time, he was going to see Alfred.

I really miss you,  
>Hope that you miss me too,<br>I wanna hold you,  
>Nothing that I can do,<br>So ordinary,  
>Without you by my side,<br>And I cry,

Grabbing his coat and his car keys, he climbed into his car, and made his way to Alfred's new home.

Neon lights flashed in front of him, singifying that the city was still alive and booming rather well, even after a disaster as great as this. In a way, England felt like it was his fault, like he should have seen this coming. Hell, maybe he could have even prevented it somehow.

Shaking, lean, pale hands gripped the steering wheel of the vechicle and miraculously turned the car into the cemetery where America had been laid to rest.

The date was September 21st, 2001.

Ten days, just ten days after the attack on Alfred's country. He had been there, he had witnessed it all. What could he have done? There was nothing that he could have done, not without creating a new world war.

Stopping at the gates of the death filled area, he decided to take a minute to collect himself. More than likely, as soon as he saw his lover's spot, he would burst into tears. The man made his way slowly to the spot, having memorized where they had laid his lover to rest.

Arthur walked along the rows of the cemetery, feeling hollow inside. How long had it been, exactly? Five, ten years, maybe? Tears fell freely from his green, sorrow-filled eyes, falling to the Earth beneath him. The sorrow and remorse was so thick in the atmosphere, cancelling any optimistic thoughts that might cross a person's mind. "Oh, you stupid idiot..." Arthur said, his voice trailing off. "Why did you leave me?"

Gazing upon the sight before him, Alfred's image popped fresh into his mind. His short, blonde hair. Those piercing, curious, excitement filled, blue eyes. The cockiness of his tone when he spoke, his idiotic-nature, his obnoxious laughter, his strong, muscular arms around his slender body at night when he cried...

I loved your laughter,  
>The look that you gave just me,<br>Such a disaster,  
>I wish my soul was free,<br>So I could find you,  
>Wherever you are out there,<br>Cause I Care,

Why'd you go,  
>Why did you leave,<br>Me alone, In life,  
>It's not fair,<br>That you are gone,  
>And I feel empty inside<p>

"You were a true hero, I hope that you are in a better place, and that they're treating you well..." Arthur glanced at the sky, and for once in ten days, he smiled. "You big, loveable idiot. Can't you see that I bloody miss you?" Arthur's smile quickly faded as the tears started to flow from his eyes. Arthur closed his eyes tightly, feeling his body starting to shake. "You...you damn fool..."

Arthur sat on the ground, sitting against the stone. He ran his lean, shaking fingers over the lettering of the grave. 'Alfred F. Jones. July 4th, 1776-September 11th, 2001 Here lays a true, coureagous hero'. The British nation watched as the clouds passed by above him, and he wondered if Alfred could see him now. Would he think that he was over-reacting? Would he be proud for going through life without him?

Arthur stood, crossing his arms across his chest. "I'll come back later, you bloody git." He turned his attention back to the grave, and tried to force a fake smile upon his face. "Remember, I bloody love you."

Arthur made his way back to his house, feeling physically abused. He walked into his living room, slowly. Noticing a little picture sitting on the coffee table, he picked it up, curious. It was the picture that Alfred and Arthur had taken together at Alfred's old apartment. He smiled to himself, and set the picture back down.

"I was so worried that you were going to get evicted, but you told me not to worry. I still don't know how you managed to come up with rent money so fast..."

Arthur inhaled a quick, shaky breath. What was there to do, now? What could he do? Sit here, and watch the time tick away before his very confused, misery filled eyes? He blinked, trying to refrain from breaking down once more. Where was a place that he could cry and be totally alone? Arthur exhaled quickly, his lungs thanking him for the new wave of oxygen. He trudged his way up the stairs, his body feeling like it had weighed over one thousand pounds. Quickly, he made his way to his shower.

The hot water pierced his exposed, pale skin, but he didn't care. The Brit ran his fingers through his blonde locks, trying to distract his thoughts. His flesh was screaming for him to leave the firey hell water, and after five minutes, he agreed.

He wrapped a towel around his waist, and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Wiping away the steam from the glass, he stared at the man in the mirror. This man wasn't happy anymore, his eyes weren't excited, willing to do the daily routines in his life. "I look like a mess..." He concluded, examing himself closely in the mirror. Dark circles formed under his puffy, red eyes. "See? See what happens when you leave me? You...you..." Arhtur inhaled, and let out a loud scream. He screamed and screamed, falling onto the floor, head in hands, tears flowing down his face.

"Why? Why, why, why? Why did you have to go? It...it isn't fair!" England stood, and punched the wall infront of him. "Dammit!" He screamed, holding his hand. "Get a grip, Arthur." He told himself, making his way to his bedroom.

Arthur made his way into his bedroom, and got dressed. He looked outside into the mid-morning sunshine, and he forced a smile upon his face.

He would visit the park today.

The park where they spent everyday together.

The very same park where they had started their serious relationship.

I hope you are in a better place,  
>Hope the Lord has your soul to save,<br>Nothing left in my heart to break,  
>And now you are gone, I am so torn,<br>All I saw was the love in you,  
>Heart so strong and I always knew,<br>You were mine and I was yours,  
>You are no more,<br>I can't ignore,

I found a picture,  
>Remembered the night we spent,<br>With us together,  
>Bairley could pay the rent,<p>

It didn't matter,  
>Because you were my best friend,<br>Till the end,  
>I can't scream,<br>It does no good,  
>Doesn't fix, what's wrong,<br>No way to reverse the past,  
>Me and you,<br>How do I move on?

Arthur felt the sun rays beat down on his skin, and he tried to smile. He saw children playing in the early morning sun, and he suddenly felt over-joyed.

Alfred would love it here.

He would want kids of his own.

He was such a loveable bafoon.

"I hope that you're in a better place, and you better be watching over me." Arthur said, winking at the sky.

I hope you are in a better place,  
>Hope the Lord has your soul to save,<br>Nothing left in my heart to break,  
>And now you are gone, I am so torn,<br>All I saw was the love in you,  
>Heart so strong and I always knew,<br>You were mine and I was yours,  
>You are no more,<br>I can't ignore,

This may seem obsence, But I keep living,  
>Knowing I will see you soon,<br>And I feel misplaced,  
>Cause life's a race,<br>You set the pace for now,

Ohhhh!

Arthur sat down on the swing, and he began to push himself. He figured the higher that he swung, the closer he could be to Alfred. "I'm coming soon, you bloody idiot. It's just not my time," He yelled at the sky as he swang.

Arthur smiled as he got off the swing, and he did something that he hadn't done in a long time.

He laughed.

Glancing up at the sky one last time, he smiled the biggest grin he ever had. "I will see you again, but it's not my time. See you at the pearly gates. I bloody love you."

In Heaven, Alfred F. Jones sat there, watching Arthur leave the park. "I love you too, Artie. See you soon."

I know you are in better place,  
>See you at the pearly gates,<br>My heart beats to see my fate,  
>I live for you,<br>I will make it through,  
>Maybe it was just your time,<br>I know I will be just fine,  
>Cause of love must be divine,<p>

I will see again,  
>I will see my best friend.<br>This may seem obscene,  
>But I keep living,<br>Knowing I will you see you soon,  
>And I feel misplaced,<br>Cause lifes a race,  
>You set the pace for now,<br>For now 


End file.
